Cactus in a Bassinent
Matt Parks
A cactus in a bassinet
And raisins in the wind
Someone, tell the other siders
There is nothing here for them
May I dictate for the very last time
A tale in size and scale
When a jester from the west or somewhere yonder learned to fail
He wasn’t just a joker see he knew a trick or two
For if he tuned pianos, every woman she would swoon
Soon he took to houses where he heard their chords at night
And waited until morning when the husbands left to fight
While the gentlemen soldiers moved up north and fought on the front lines
The jester he would swoop in, and he’d ruin all their lives
It wasn’t just the notes he sang that brought these women to their knees
He had the diction of canaries and the whispers of a breeze
Before he had his filthy way or tickled any keys
He sang his wicked manifesto, within the key of G
You’ve never told a joke to me, yet all you women laugh
But now the jester’s wrecking homes, and he’ll be laughing last
And though they scream and cast him out
They can’t hold him off long
Because he plays the junk piano, and he starts into a song
A cactus in a bassinet
And raisins in the wind
Someone, tell the other siders
There is nothing here for them
Though seriously serially he made his way through town
A slinger with no gun who brings plantations to the ground.
JW dropped his grey cap and it sunk deep in the mud
The horse he took was splattered by JW’s first blood
He washed his hands by fire light, though red stains don’t come out
Especially the crimson of your comrade downed with gout
JW rode back to town aback his crimson steed
The beast chewed at its bit, as there was nothing left to feed
The Coward let the hour set and the beast could stand no more
So, JW left her soul behind with carnage and the war
He came upon his home and heard the music in the air
His daughter’s no pianist, but she’s all that he left there
The plantation’s land was yellow, the air thick with all misdeeds
JW the Coward heard the voice that sings in G
You’ve never told a joke to me, yet all you women laugh
But now the jester’s wrecking homes, and he’ll be laughing last
And though you scream and cast me out
You can’t hold me off for long
Because I play the junk piano, now let me start into my song
A cactus in a bassinet
And raisins in the wind
Someone, tell the other siders
There is nothing here for them
JW kicked the wooden door and saw his daughter bound
He lifted up his rifle, and gunned the jester to the ground
She cried and she attacked him, “Daddy he’s the man I loved.”
JW the Coward once more head to toe in blood
The jester smiled posthumously; one last home he’d wrecked for fun
The daughter scrubbed JW’s hands when she found the Coward hung.