Sara Alexander

I will not be a fraud  

And I will not lean on what my fingers  

Dream to touch.  

And I will not be a fraud  

Who speaks sweet things  

With opaque tongues  

And I promise you,  

I will not be a fraud  

Who searches for my face  

In mirrors I bought with gold frames  

For some other green blue eyes.  

I promise you, I do not trust  

My pockets to hold such soft things  

Without drawing my heart  

To plastic dolls and dust.  

My skin will never feel  

Velvet and think of crowns  

My skin will think of crafting hands  

And I’ll feel the strength of their grip  

And look at His eyes  

to find what I call home.  

But, If I will ever drown in  

Green velvet and vetiver and gold,  

It will be like lovers do  

With soft palms  

That pray on other mouths  

That will never know  

How to praise like I do.  

Or it will be like bees do  

With honey stored  

Away for someone to  

Rip and tear from my home  

While I lie listless  

High on searing smoke blown  

By someone else’s lips  

To hide from His eyes and  

Shield His smile.  

If one day you find me  

I’ll be amongst the tulips  

like a Woman of God would be  

I’ll be covered in someone else’s dresses  

They will be my mothers  

So clean and used to  

Tuck me in. When I become  

More whole than stained glass  

Plucked from the corners of my eyes